








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2186 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1066 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,380 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | vellu mårt | 56% | 113 |
| #4 | Vilburren | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | Style | 50% | 112 |
| #6 | nuba | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | Elnelia | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vellu mårt | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Style | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | nuba | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ★Temzii★ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Elnelia | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuba | 284 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | vellu mårt | 275 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Style | 170 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vilburren | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★Temzii★ | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |





