








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Faceit | 242 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4972 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4856 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4009 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2614 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,170,572 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Style | 47% | 369 |
| #4 | nuba | 45% | 148 |
| #5 | ★Temzii★ | 43% | 161 |
| #6 | Vilburren | 43% | 189 |
| #7 | Elnelia | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Style | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Vilburren | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ★Temzii★ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Santtu | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | nuba | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuba | 645 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Style | 471 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | Vilburren | 415 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | ★Temzii★ | 332 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Santtu | 223 | 0.09 | 6 min |





