








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1101 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2535 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2026 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,811 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 925 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 63% | 119 |
| #6 | SuSi | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | ♿ BoBi ✝ 𝕿𝖔𝖕 𝕲 | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 213 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | SuSi | 97 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ︻S̷t̷e̷w̷i̷e̷ 一 | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♨ αηǤe𝕃 | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |





