








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1594 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1486 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,623 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dronks big brolic fat dude | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | TBone | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Cofee Monkey | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | Matteo Witrago | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | weakbox ★ | 42% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Matteo Witrago | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | weakbox ★ | 42% | 265 |
| #6 | Ron Jennings | 41% | 234 |
| #7 | xlvck | 34% | 65 |
| #8 | Artorias The Abyss Walker | 21% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlvck | 25 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Ron Jennings | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Matteo Witrago | 18 | 0.0369 |
| #4 | weakbox ★ | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Cofee Monkey | 16 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Jennings | 1021 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | weakbox ★ | 864 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Cofee Monkey | 417 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | xlvck | 259 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Artorias The Abyss Walker | 109 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cofee Monkey | +6.47 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Ron Jennings | +5.67 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | dronks big brolic fat dude | +0.70 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | weakbox ★ | -0.62 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | xlvck | -0.89 | 61 | 40 |





