








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1844 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1530 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1713 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,924 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q cumber | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Purple | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Christian Horny | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Carrot | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrot | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Q cumber | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Purple | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | JayKnows Happy | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Christian Horny | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fat Mike | +3.84 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | Christian Horny | +1.15 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Carrot | -0.66 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | Purple | -0.80 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Q cumber | -1.66 | 66 | 59 |





