








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 807 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,568 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanner | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Just Jesse | 46% | 101 |
| #3 | Nashhty. | 40% | 99 |
| #4 | Sphinxy | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | Fence? | 35% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanner | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Just Jesse | 46% | 101 |
| #3 | Nashhty. | 40% | 99 |
| #4 | Sphinxy | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | Fence? | 35% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nashhty. | 42 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Fence? | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Just Jesse | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Sphinxy | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fence? | 273 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Just Jesse | 191 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nashhty. | 156 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | tanner | 101 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sphinxy | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Jesse | +5.73 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | Nashhty. | +3.31 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | tanner | +1.85 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Buk Lau | -3.43 | 46 | 34 |
| #5 | Sphinxy | -3.66 | 43 | 29 |





