








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1386 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1607 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1592 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,349 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★︎ R O M U ★ | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Vinkupiiks | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | OGGLER | 73 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | M A C K | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ★︎ P A H A R E T T ★ | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |





