








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2899 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3697 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3186 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3564 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,024 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGGLER | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | Ragga | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | ★︎ R O M U ★ | 51% | 187 |
| #4 | ★︎ P A H A R E T T ★ | 51% | 144 |
| #5 | M A C K | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ★︎ R O M U ★ | 51% | 187 |
| #4 | ★︎ P A H A R E T T ★ | 51% | 144 |
| #5 | M A C K | 49% | 68 |
| #6 | ★︎ E S T O N 1 A ★ | 47% | 64 |
| #7 | Sling' | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★︎ P A H A R E T T ★ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ★︎ R O M U ★ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | OGGLER | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | M A C K | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Sling' | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGGLER | 285 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | ★︎ R O M U ★ | 265 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | ★︎ E S T O N 1 A ★ | 137 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | M A C K | 129 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sling' | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinkupiiks | +3.39 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | OGGLER | +0.81 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | ★︎ E S T O N 1 A ★ | +0.33 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | ★︎ P A H A R E T T ★ | -0.39 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | Ragga | -1.00 | 68 | 59 |





