








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 568 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




136 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12925 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4416 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 8966 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5307 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,944 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do you like waffles? | 65% | 110 |
| #2 | Aya | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | michael | 64% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do you like waffles? | 65% | 110 |
| #2 | Aya | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | michael | 64% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael | 47 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | do you like waffles? | 20 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Aya | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | do you like waffles? | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Aya | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do you like waffles? | +3.27 | 64 | 46 |
| #2 | Aya | +3.13 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | temu cart got me boyvulating | +2.51 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | michael | -0.32 | 61 | 31 |





