








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2994 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2204 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2268 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,526 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rauno Muilu | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | tepa. | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | KarateKeijo | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | jONCi ヅ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Kaunis tyttö Vantaa seksiseuraa | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meitsi | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | jONCi ヅ | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Raaka-Arska | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Taekwondo Teuvo | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | mä olen arabininen | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raaka-Arska | 310 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | jONCi ヅ | 106 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | mä olen arabininen | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pavezki | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Taekwondo Teuvo | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarateKeijo | +4.62 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | Meitsi | +2.11 | 49 | 57 |
| #3 | Pavezki | +0.79 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | jONCi ヅ | +0.40 | 56 | 77 |
| #5 | 2 | +0.35 | 67 | 75 |





