








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 431 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1474 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,950 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeeStationNoWork | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | nx | 53% | 200 |
| #4 | ballgobler | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeeStationNoWork | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | nx | 53% | 200 |
| #4 | ballgobler | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nx | 22 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ballgobler | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nx | 502 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ballgobler | 275 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 89 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | PeeStationNoWork | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | +3.77 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | nx | +2.25 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | PeeStationNoWork | +1.19 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | ballgobler | +0.56 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Tumppi | -2.08 | 44 | 47 |





