










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 691 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2062 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,666 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | terrorista local | 46% | 108 |
| #2 | к3бабныi | 36% | 96 |
| #3 | baboombababoon | 34% | 44 |
| #4 | Jopz | 33% | 61 |
| #5 | ivo matti | 31% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | к3бабныi | 36% | 96 |
| #3 | baboombababoon | 34% | 44 |
| #4 | Jopz | 33% | 61 |
| #5 | ivo matti | 31% | 52 |
| #6 | India hirm | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к3бабныi | 23 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | India hirm | 10 | 0.0284 |
| #3 | terrorista local | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | baboombababoon | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | ivo matti | 7 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к3бабныi | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | terrorista local | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | India hirm | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | baboombababoon | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ivo matti | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | India hirm | +4.44 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | terrorista local | +3.13 | 62 | 18 |
| #3 | baboombababoon | +2.25 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | к3бабныi | +1.91 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | Ali-G | -1.31 | 46 | 31 |





