










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 17% |
| Smokes | 452 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 361 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 111 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,839 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baboombababoon | 36% | 44 |
| #2 | terrorista local | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | к3бабныi | 33% | 66 |
| #4 | Ali-G | 31% | 52 |
| #5 | Jopz | 30% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | terrorista local | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | к3бабныi | 33% | 66 |
| #4 | Ali-G | 31% | 52 |
| #5 | Jopz | 30% | 57 |
| #6 | India hirm | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к3бабныi | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | baboombababoon | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Ali-G | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | India hirm | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | terrorista local | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baboombababoon | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | к3бабныi | 25 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | India hirm | 24 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ali-G | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jopz | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | India hirm | +4.66 | 82 | 42 |
| #2 | baboombababoon | +2.66 | 47 | 44 |
| #3 | к3бабныi | +2.26 | 48 | 38 |
| #4 | terrorista local | +0.67 | 52 | 12 |
| #5 | Ali-G | -1.37 | 40 | 22 |





