








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1025 | 61% |
| HE Grenades | 339 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 280 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,670 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к3бабныi | 40% | 75 |
| #2 | India hirm | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | Ali-G | 33% | 61 |
| #4 | baboombababoon | 32% | 47 |
| #5 | terrorista local | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | India hirm | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | Ali-G | 33% | 61 |
| #4 | baboombababoon | 32% | 47 |
| #5 | terrorista local | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | ivo matti | 30% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к3бабныi | 12 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | baboombababoon | 10 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | ivo matti | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | India hirm | 6 | 0.0261 |
| #5 | Ali-G | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivo matti | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | baboombababoon | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | к3бабныi | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | India hirm | 31 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ali-G | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | India hirm | +3.24 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | к3бабныi | +2.87 | 54 | 47 |
| #3 | baboombababoon | +2.72 | 51 | 51 |
| #4 | terrorista local | +0.18 | 62 | 19 |
| #5 | Ali-G | -0.36 | 41 | 25 |





