








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 671 matches | ||
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13946 | 35% |
| Smokes | 10681 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7620 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7043 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,635 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | 49% | 708 |
| #2 | FusSel | 48% | 305 |
| #3 | ShanniUncoachable | 48% | 435 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky | 46% | 171 |
| #5 | Patrick Baitman | 45% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FusSel | 48% | 305 |
| #3 | ShanniUncoachable | 48% | 435 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky | 46% | 171 |
| #5 | Patrick Baitman | 45% | 187 |
| #6 | ✌FireFliesツFemale.✌~ M. | 43% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | 106 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | ShanniUncoachable | 30 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | FusSel | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Patrick Baitman | 11 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | 2467 | 0.17 | 58 min |
| #2 | ShanniUncoachable | 612 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #3 | Tinky Winky | 395 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | FusSel | 271 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Patrick Baitman | 180 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lykaru | +1.93 | 67 | 70 |
| #2 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | +1.51 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky | +1.22 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | FusSel | -1.24 | 46 | 46 |
| #5 | Patrick Baitman | -2.21 | 42 | 45 |





