








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1299 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1846 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1843 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2106 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,446 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ Lykaru | 43% | 148 |
| #4 | ChickenHakai | 41% | 69 |
| #5 | FusSel | 40% | 131 |
| #6 | Patrick Baitman | 39% | 122 |
| #7 | Fronck_XD | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | 20 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ✪ Lykaru | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | FusSel | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Patrick Baitman | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ChickenHakai | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lykaru | 695 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | 300KG Hamburger Gaming | 420 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | ChickenHakai | 166 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Patrick Baitman | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | FusSel | 71 | 0.03 | 1 min |





