








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2478 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5269 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3900 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2407 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,627,604 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | L I M P A | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | ThatCatGuy | 47% | 274 |
| #5 | Doge | 46% | 235 |
| #6 | Liza8044 | 42% | 183 |
| #7 | Expired Water | 35% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatCatGuy | 26 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Doge | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Liza8044 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Senja' | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Expired Water | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatCatGuy | 375 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Senja' | 224 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Expired Water | 128 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Doge | 93 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | L I M P A | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |





