








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,528 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2647 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3929 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2660 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1888 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,707 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hulken86 | 51% | 57 |
| #8 | !β§β§Doxhana | 50% | 36 |
| #9 | Pirq | 49% | 43 |
| #10 | CoozyWoozy Sk8erBoi<3 | 44% | 43 |
| #11 | Stalin.J | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | !β§β§Doxhana | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | galaxY^ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | hulken86 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Troppz | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | 359 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | !β§β§Doxhana | 130 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pirq | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | hulken86 | 113 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | galaxY^ | 74 | 0.03 | 1 min |





