








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,460 | |
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4603 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5328 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3947 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,245,821 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas Wassberg | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | xJebbz | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | πππΎπΎπΌ | 55% | 148 |
| #4 | GG Sebbelito | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Honungs Groddan | 55% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Troppz | 49% | 90 |
| #9 | Stalin.J | 46% | 108 |
| #10 | hulken86 | 45% | 100 |
| #11 | β Mohawk β | 44% | 36 |
| #12 | CoozyWoozy Sk8erBoi<3 | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honungs Groddan | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Stalin.J | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Thomas Wassberg | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | galaxY^ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | hulken86 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππΎπΎπΌ | 318 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Honungs Groddan | 297 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | hulken86 | 196 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stalin.J | 106 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | GG Sebbelito | 101 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas Wassberg | +3.09 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | GG Sebbelito | +2.90 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | Stalin.J | +2.30 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | xJebbz | +1.62 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | George | +1.32 | 46 | 47 |





