








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2199 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2919 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1946 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,366,394 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirple | 61% | 100 |
| #2 | Latelammas123 | 59% | 74 |
| #3 | Deke | 57% | 92 |
| #4 | Fore | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | Nacho Fantastico | 47% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Latelammas123 | 59% | 74 |
| #3 | Deke | 57% | 92 |
| #4 | Fore | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | Nacho Fantastico | 47% | 144 |
| #6 | reijo | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirple | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Latelammas123 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Nacho Fantastico | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Fore | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Deke | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirple | 402 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fore | 210 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nacho Fantastico | 187 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Deke | 160 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Latelammas123 | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMika | +1.93 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Nacho Fantastico | +0.87 | 55 | 50 |
| #3 | Deke | -0.04 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Kirple | -0.25 | 53 | 74 |
| #5 | reijo | -0.79 | 69 | 40 |





