










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 26% |
| Smokes | 581 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 448 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,386 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fore | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Deke | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Kirple | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Nacho Fantastico | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | Latelammas123 | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Deke | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Kirple | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Nacho Fantastico | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | Latelammas123 | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | BigMika | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deke | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Nacho Fantastico | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kirple | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Latelammas123 | 2 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirple | 103 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | BigMika | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Deke | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nacho Fantastico | 36 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fore | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMika | +3.84 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Kirple | +2.42 | 51 | 77 |
| #3 | reijo | +1.13 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Nacho Fantastico | +0.24 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | Deke | -0.32 | 75 | 59 |





