










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 16% |
| Smokes | 659 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 356 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,694 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Honken§§ | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | Vladimir Pussytin | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | kim jong-un | 31% | 29 |
| #8 | Starboy | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | CEESAY🚬 | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEESAY🚬 | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | kim jong-un | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | coach kent | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Honken§§ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | david the heart breaker | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | david the heart breaker | 80 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Honken§§ | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Elvis | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | CEESAY🚬 | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | kim jong-un | 15 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starboy | +5.30 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | david the heart breaker | +3.24 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | Elvis | +2.77 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | kim jong-un | +0.46 | 53 | 52 |
| #5 | Honken§§ | -0.80 | 56 | 51 |





