










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 908 | 41% |
| Smokes | 517 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 208 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 599 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,960 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haliuswQwQw | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Esky | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | aneiry | 100% | 7 |
| #4 | iS0UF | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Hamdax | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Esky | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | aneiry | 100% | 7 |
| #4 | iS0UF | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Hamdax | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | Dwight Shrute | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esky | 3 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | iS0UF | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Hamdax | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iS0UF | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Dwight Shrute | 24 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | haliuswQwQw | 22 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hamdax | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Esky | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haliuswQwQw | +8.06 | 73 | 87 |
| #2 | aneiry | +3.60 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | iS0UF | +1.92 | 56 | 36 |
| #4 | Dwight Shrute | +0.76 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | .rmaX* | -0.13 | 44 | 58 |





