








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3374 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2278 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2630 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2183 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,732,839 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NattyWonTon | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Apollo | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | dusray | 55% | 64 |
| #4 | Shaman_ | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | benji | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | benji | 44% | 84 |
| #6 | deB | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | s9 * zAppleShadow | 44% | 64 |
| #8 | Gr3ml1n | 39% | 41 |
| #9 | Jah | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaman_ | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | s9 * zAppleShadow | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Jah | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Gr3ml1n | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Apollo | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 343 | 0.47 | 9 min |
| #2 | s9 * zAppleShadow | 209 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | dusray | 205 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shaman_ | 176 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | benji | 156 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NattyWonTon | +2.60 | 79 | 48 |
| #2 | Shaman_ | +2.32 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Apollo | +1.87 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | benji | +1.55 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | s9 * zAppleShadow | +1.12 | 58 | 65 |





