








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1148 | 24% |
| Smokes | 945 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1156 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,128 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIQQES^.^ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Puikula | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | sleepbot | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Calma | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | toupi | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarbØ | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Calma | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | OgPende | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | sleepbot | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Puikula | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepbot | 163 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Calma | 96 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | OgPende | 93 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | TehoMonni | 70 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | toupi | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toupi | +3.75 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Calma | +3.07 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | Puikula | +2.28 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | LIQQES^.^ | +2.26 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | TehoMonni | +1.95 | 57 | 72 |





