








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1246 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,321 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | islander | 38% | 8 |
| #15 | ๖ۣۜAѕυкα♥✿ | 38% | 8 |
| #16 | -Mel Gibson- | 36% | 11 |
| #17 | hulio | 36% | 11 |
| #18 | toni | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepbot | 223 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | Maucca | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Puikula | 155 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | CarbØ | 132 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | TehoMonni | 98 | 0.18 | 3 min |





