








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 993 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2300 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1621 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1344 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,018 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voloxitor | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Bawt™ | 52% | 125 |
| #3 | SmileyMD | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | Sheen | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Wanna Be™ | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bawt™ | 52% | 125 |
| #3 | SmileyMD | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | Sheen | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Wanna Be™ | 43% | 110 |
| #6 | Nate ツ | 20% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmileyMD | 49 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Wanna Be™ | 22 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Sheen | 8 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Nate ツ | 8 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | Bawt™ | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmileyMD | 267 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wanna Be™ | 155 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bawt™ | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nate ツ | 19 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sheen | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuspankmedaddyowo | +3.21 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | Sheen | +1.61 | 72 | 16 |
| #3 | voloxitor | -0.27 | 28 | 21 |
| #4 | Bawt™ | -1.20 | 36 | 33 |
| #5 | Wanna Be™ | -2.39 | 25 | 44 |





