








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 795 | 50% |
| Smokes | 120 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 494 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 174 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,921 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheen | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | uwuspankmedaddyowo | 48% | 160 |
| #3 | Bawt™ | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | Wanna Be™ | 38% | 138 |
| #5 | Sneker :| | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Wanna Be™ | 38% | 138 |
| #5 | Sneker :| | 27% | 11 |
| #6 | wormyyyxd | 25% | 16 |
| #7 | Nate ツ | 20% | 15 |
| #8 | HammerCock | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuspankmedaddyowo | 59 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | Wanna Be™ | 29 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Nate ツ | 5 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | Bawt™ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Sheen | 4 | 0.0163 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuspankmedaddyowo | 522 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Wanna Be™ | 197 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bawt™ | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | wormyyyxd | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sneker :| | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wormyyyxd | +6.33 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | uwuspankmedaddyowo | +3.47 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | Sheen | +2.33 | 80 | 19 |
| #4 | Sneker :| | +1.25 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | HammerCock | -1.05 | 28 | 43 |





