










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1115 | 25% |
| Smokes | 627 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1508 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,049 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | κ§LeijjuvaLerssiκ§ | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Banaani | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | acoustic | 58% | 62 |
| #4 | mommy milker | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Monkey | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | wZade | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | κ§LeijjuvaLerssiκ§ | +5.89 | 83 | 87 |
| #2 | mommy milker | +5.43 | 54 | 75 |
| #3 | wZade | +2.50 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Monkey | +1.41 | 73 | 76 |
| #5 | acoustic | +1.38 | 80 | 64 |





