








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4632 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6045 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4267 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3824 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,298 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asterix | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | lets all kill dave | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | skeptical | 55% | 101 |
| #4 | Maribou State | 53% | 91 |
| #5 | foe | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β΄ π ππ½πβ‘π π β΄ | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | skeptical | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Luke | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Maribou State | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | foe | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeptical | 191 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Luke | 171 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | β΄ π ππ½πβ‘π π β΄ | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Maribou State | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | foe | 116 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeptical | +4.11 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | CartoonHead | +1.22 | 52 | 62 |
| #3 | KarLybop! | +1.10 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Hasbulla | +1.08 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Luke | +0.88 | 74 | 61 |





