








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 20% |
| Smokes | 990 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1731 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,781 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uurty | 100% | 9 |
| #2 | super zero | 100% | 12 |
| #3 | fᵤcₖ yₑₐₕ! TIM | 100% | 12 |
| #4 | kita | 100% | 14 |
| #5 | Alchemy | 96% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 9 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Rise | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | lucifer | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Dark Paladin | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | n0tw0rd | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ Dark Paladin | 339 | 0.43 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rise | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | lucifer | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | n0tw0rd | 106 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alchemy | +7.58 | 98 | 59 |
| #2 | uurty | +6.30 | 92 | 56 |
| #3 | Rise | +4.93 | 92 | 75 |
| #4 | lucifer | +3.22 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | meap | +2.95 | 90 | 59 |





