








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1056 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 715 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,355 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skib | 42% | 165 |
| #2 | Paul John | 41% | 193 |
| #3 | Top G | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skib | 42% | 165 |
| #2 | Paul John | 41% | 193 |
| #3 | Top G | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul John | 48 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Skib | 38 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Top G | 4 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul John | 472 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Skib | 338 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Top G | 60 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top G | +9.82 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Skib | +3.75 | 49 | 30 |
| #3 | Paul John | +0.02 | 29 | 30 |
| #4 | The dark passenger♿ | -4.72 | 5 | 20 |





