










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 685 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1431 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,314 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Enderdragon7670 | 40% | 91 |
| #7 | Mr. Peniz | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | MK-Rex | 33% | 30 |
| #10 | Arribacucuru | 33% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | 13 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | Arribacucuru | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Enderdragon7670 | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Mathe Lehrer | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Mr. Peniz | 4 | 0.0255 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arribacucuru | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | 96 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Enderdragon7670 | 72 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | mahzilla | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | MK-Rex | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bananenbieger | +5.51 | 72 | 46 |
| #2 | Arribacucuru | +0.59 | 32 | 47 |
| #3 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | +0.42 | 33 | 31 |
| #4 | MK-Rex | +0.04 | 38 | 23 |
| #5 | mahzilla | -0.09 | 21 | 48 |





