








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 328 matches | ||
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1575 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4807 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 3438 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1056 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,621 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MK-Rex | 42% | 117 |
| #8 | lelele657 | 41% | 44 |
| #9 | Der Salmonellenrebell | 40% | 91 |
| #10 | Mathe Lehrer | 39% | 69 |
| #11 | Arribacucuru | 37% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | 33 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Arribacucuru | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Bananenbieger | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Der Salmonellenrebell | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | MK-Rex | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bananenbieger | +4.18 | 66 | 22 |
| #2 | Alexander Schleming | +3.36 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | Arribacucuru | +0.39 | 40 | 45 |
| #4 | ⎐⟟⎐⟒ ⍜⎍⍀ ⏃⍀⍀ | +0.33 | 29 | 34 |
| #5 | MK-Rex | -0.28 | 42 | 23 |





