








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6397 | 52% |
| Smokes | 3731 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1063 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,396 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elofen | 58% | 106 |
| #2 | Klas | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Ogsar | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Agneta patrull | 56% | 148 |
| #5 | Gneger | 52% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Klas | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Ogsar | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Agneta patrull | 56% | 148 |
| #5 | Gneger | 52% | 88 |
| #6 | ★Pap$ | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agneta patrull | 42 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | ★Pap$ | 18 | 0.0313 |
| #3 | Gneger | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | elofen | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Klas | 9 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elofen | 417 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gneger | 227 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Agneta patrull | 223 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | ★Pap$ | 173 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ogsar | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ogsar | +5.16 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | elofen | +2.85 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | ★Pap$ | +2.51 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | juiceman | +1.94 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Agneta patrull | +0.05 | 55 | 53 |





