










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 990 | 40% |
| Smokes | 638 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 617 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,261 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elofen | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | Agneta patrull | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | juiceman | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | Klas | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Monsieur Noirval | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Agneta patrull | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | juiceman | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | Klas | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Monsieur Noirval | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | ★Pap$ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiceman | 34 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Agneta patrull | 32 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | ★Pap$ | 13 | 0.0455 |
| #4 | Klas | 11 | 0.0190 |
| #5 | elofen | 7 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiceman | 524 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | elofen | 235 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Agneta patrull | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ★Pap$ | 83 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Monsieur Noirval | 72 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elofen | +3.87 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | ★Pap$ | +3.13 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | juiceman | +2.27 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | Monsieur Noirval | +2.20 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | Agneta patrull | +0.11 | 50 | 53 |





