








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18489 | 50% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7993 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4555 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,646 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Short the VIX | 59% | 82 |
| #4 | Z1MB0RA | 58% | 283 |
| #5 | CptZebra | 56% | 72 |
| #6 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 48% | 83 |
| #7 | Z9inIx | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptZebra | 34 | 0.0241 |
| #2 | Z1MB0RA | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Short the VIX | 12 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Z9inIx | 9 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 7 | 0.0043 |





