








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4876 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3063 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4037 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3271 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,578 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Short the VIX | 62% | 65 |
| #2 | CptZebra | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | InSaNe | 58% | 283 |
| #4 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Short the VIX | 62% | 65 |
| #2 | CptZebra | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | InSaNe | 58% | 283 |
| #4 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InSaNe | 77 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | CptZebra | 26 | 0.0256 |
| #3 | Short the VIX | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InSaNe | 3363 | 0.60 | 87 min |
| #2 | CptZebra | 223 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Short the VIX | 149 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InSaNe | +3.68 | 51 | 74 |
| #2 | CptZebra | +1.44 | 64 | 45 |
| #3 | Z1MB0RA | -0.01 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Short the VIX | -0.99 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | ♥ 狮子座 ♥ *********** | -1.31 | 56 | 43 |





