








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1211 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,441 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 48% | 174 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | Oasen Avedøre | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 48% | 174 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | Oasen Avedøre | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 33 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Oasen Avedøre | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kartoffelhanne | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Gaymer | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Oasen Avedøre | 34 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | +1.26 | 57 | 17 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | +0.43 | 52 | 39 |
| #3 | Banana | -0.66 | 61 | 25 |
| #4 | Oasen Avedøre | -0.91 | 47 | 24 |





