








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 808 | 19% |
| Smokes | 670 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1106 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,067 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dino_Man_ | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Private | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Hr Skæg | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Gaymer | 50% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Private | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Hr Skæg | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Gaymer | 50% | 132 |
| #6 | Banana | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 46 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Hr Skæg | 9 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Banana | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 8 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | Private | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 55 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | Banana | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hr Skæg | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dino_Man_ | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | +0.76 | 41 | 29 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | +0.55 | 54 | 38 |
| #3 | Hr Skæg | +0.44 | 60 | 25 |
| #4 | Banana | -0.06 | 55 | 27 |
| #5 | Gaymer | -0.09 | 50 | 15 |





