








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2318 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2004 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,971 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | Kartoffelhanne | 50% | 132 |
| #3 | Hr Skæg | 49% | 193 |
| #4 | Banana | 48% | 174 |
| #5 | Dino_Man_ | 48% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Banana | 48% | 174 |
| #5 | Dino_Man_ | 48% | 107 |
| #6 | Vitus | 44% | 108 |
| #7 | Private | 43% | 90 |
| #8 | Bombe Beiss | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr Skæg | 42 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Vitus | 29 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Kartoffelhanne | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Oasen AvedΓΈre | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Banana | 10 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kartoffelhanne | 198 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dino_Man_ | 186 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hr Skæg | 151 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Banana | 133 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bombe Beiss | 115 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombe Beiss | +3.03 | 54 | 66 |
| #2 | Gaymer | +1.77 | 59 | 19 |
| #3 | Kartoffelhanne | +0.16 | 54 | 38 |
| #4 | Hr Skæg | +0.03 | 56 | 26 |
| #5 | Private | -0.44 | 41 | 15 |





