








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1061 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1095 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,525 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | papyrus | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | mindstorm00 | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Moraxx | 41% | 49 |
| #9 | Ghost | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | GroverIsLife | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xandii | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | papyrus | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | itsBenni | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | karsteN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | mindstorm00 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itsBenni | 388 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Xandii | 141 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | papyrus | 117 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | karsteN | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Moraxx | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindstorm00 | +5.68 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | itsBenni | +1.59 | 85 | 75 |
| #3 | karsteN | +1.32 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | papyrus | +0.35 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | Moraxx | -0.41 | 49 | 63 |





