








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2174 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3359 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5064 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3982 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,909 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samy_S | 62% | 58 |
| #2 | Moraxx | 54% | 152 |
| #3 | itsBenni | 52% | 330 |
| #4 | papyrus | 51% | 196 |
| #5 | mindstorm00 | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | itsBenni | 52% | 330 |
| #4 | papyrus | 51% | 196 |
| #5 | mindstorm00 | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | karsteN | 49% | 130 |
| #7 | Schmidtpunkt | 47% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itsBenni | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | papyrus | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | karsteN | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Schmidtpunkt | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Moraxx | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itsBenni | 847 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | Moraxx | 353 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | papyrus | 306 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | samy_S | 271 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | Schmidtpunkt | 237 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mindstorm00 | +4.32 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | itsBenni | +2.13 | 89 | 72 |
| #3 | papyrus | +0.18 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | karsteN | +0.07 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | Moraxx | -0.81 | 48 | 65 |





