








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 29% |
| Smokes | 175 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 100 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 123 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,627 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Schmidtpunkt | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | itsBenni | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | Moraxx | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | PedrowiththeKevlar | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | GroverIsLife | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karsteN | 4 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | Schmidtpunkt | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | itsBenni | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | papyrus | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papyrus | 52 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | itsBenni | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Schmidtpunkt | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | karsteN | 23 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | GroverIsLife | 10 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karsteN | +4.53 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | papyrus | +4.27 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | itsBenni | +4.10 | 92 | 74 |
| #4 | Moraxx | +1.12 | 51 | 49 |
| #5 | GroverIsLife | +0.63 | 54 | 14 |





