








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4710 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5209 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4676 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,631,098 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 836 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waga univeristy valedictorian | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | SLAM DUNK | 57% | 116 |
| #3 | d-TREN | 52% | 283 |
| #4 | this guy | 51% | 196 |
| #5 | breasts image | 46% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waga univeristy valedictorian | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | SLAM DUNK | 57% | 116 |
| #3 | d-TREN | 52% | 283 |
| #4 | this guy | 51% | 196 |
| #5 | breasts image | 46% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d-TREN | 66 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | breasts image | 59 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | this guy | 41 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | SLAM DUNK | 13 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | waga univeristy valedictorian | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | this guy | 575 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | d-TREN | 446 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | breasts image | 286 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | SLAM DUNK | 235 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | waga univeristy valedictorian | 120 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | )uche | +2.59 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | this guy | +0.71 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | d-TREN | -0.41 | 64 | 36 |
| #4 | breasts image | -0.78 | 67 | 35 |
| #5 | waga univeristy valedictorian | -1.09 | 50 | 45 |





