








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1694 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1875 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1804 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,448 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 552 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAM DUNK | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | d-TREN | 51% | 105 |
| #3 | )uche | 51% | 196 |
| #4 | breasts image | 46% | 142 |
| #5 | gucc | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAM DUNK | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | d-TREN | 51% | 105 |
| #3 | )uche | 51% | 196 |
| #4 | breasts image | 46% | 142 |
| #5 | gucc | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | )uche | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | breasts image | 26 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | d-TREN | 24 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | SLAM DUNK | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | gucc | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | )uche | 417 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | d-TREN | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | breasts image | 122 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | SLAM DUNK | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | gucc | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | )uche | +2.73 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | this guy | +0.63 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | d-TREN | +0.54 | 71 | 32 |
| #4 | breasts image | -0.68 | 70 | 36 |
| #5 | gucc | -0.76 | 69 | 63 |





