








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 27% |
| Smokes | 365 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 305 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 304 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,665 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | FireMexRPM | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | kiqu3_ | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | TheRaga | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | milky | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FireMexRPM | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | kiqu3_ | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | TheRaga | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | milky | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | BaBy YoDa | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milky | 17 | 0.0245 |
| #2 | kiqu3_ | 11 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | FireMexRPM | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | TheRaga | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 189 | 0.52 | 3 min |
| #2 | kiqu3_ | 141 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | milky | 121 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | FireMexRPM | 75 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | TheRaga | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ fernando-232018 | +4.05 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | TheRaga | +3.54 | 90 | 52 |
| #3 | milky | +0.41 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | FireMexRPM | -0.19 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | BaBy YoDa | -0.25 | 88 | 27 |





