








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7474 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3868 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5349 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2960 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,183 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zDaex | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | kiqu3_ | 44% | 102 |
| #3 | BaBy YoDa | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | milky | 42% | 102 |
| #5 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kiqu3_ | 44% | 102 |
| #3 | BaBy YoDa | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | milky | 42% | 102 |
| #5 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 41% | 54 |
| #6 | TheRaga | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiqu3_ | 20 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | milky | 18 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 14 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | zDaex | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | BaBy YoDa | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ fernando-232018 | 502 | 0.44 | 8 min |
| #2 | kiqu3_ | 456 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | milky | 314 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | TheRaga | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | BaBy YoDa | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ fernando-232018 | +1.25 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | milky | +0.30 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | FireMexRPM | +0.12 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | zDaex | -0.37 | 57 | 50 |
| #5 | BaBy YoDa | -0.98 | 77 | 42 |





