








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 19% |
| Smokes | 562 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 311 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,052 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | mango | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Asuna | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | HolaAmigo | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | tralalero tralala | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HolaAmigo | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | tralalero tralala | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | BroMind | 45% | 64 |
| #7 | Ryusei | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | bigking | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | 12 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | tralalero tralala | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bigking | 4 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | HolaAmigo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BroMind | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tralalero tralala | 410 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Asuna | 271 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | HolaAmigo | 178 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | mango | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | BroMind | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | +3.54 | 73 | 41 |
| #2 | mango | +2.38 | 51 | 44 |
| #3 | tralalero tralala | +2.28 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | LonelyWinter | +0.73 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | bigking | -0.37 | 31 | 39 |





