








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3106 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3418 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2265 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2580 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,603 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | mango | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | bigking | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | Asuna | 48% | 116 |
| #5 | LonelyWinter | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Asuna | 48% | 116 |
| #5 | LonelyWinter | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | HolaAmigo | 47% | 141 |
| #7 | BroMind | 45% | 74 |
| #8 | Ryusei | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | 19 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | HolaAmigo | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | bigking | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | BroMind | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | mango | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asuna | 282 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | HolaAmigo | 276 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | bigking | 111 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | mango | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | LonelyWinter | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristanpangxinghua | +2.25 | 71 | 41 |
| #2 | tralalero tralala | +2.23 | 57 | 60 |
| #3 | mango | +1.44 | 61 | 41 |
| #4 | LonelyWinter | +0.43 | 51 | 41 |
| #5 | bigking | -0.08 | 31 | 43 |





